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where did my Passover go?


The passage of time has been nothing short of startling for me. During the midst of the pandemic, and even now as things are 'easing up', I ride the wave of time, from one activity to another, from one holiday to another...not really feeling that I've actually experienced it. I can't explain it beyond that. It is a bizarre feeling....to be at once present and yet not.


Passover was a dream, a fleeting sense of a holiday. I know that most can't wait for it to end, but for me, I feel that it disappeared. Eight days, gone in a whisper of time.


And now, how can I truly feel that I am in the Omer period, when I'm still wondering where Passover went?


You can see the difficulty.


I experience meditations and also lead them---which one would think should enhance my ability to be in the present moment...but no. It is a struggle to maintain the acute sense of time when the meditation is over.


When I pray, I'm in the present moment, but I want to feel that feeling always, the feeling where I'm in every single moment, but surely, I can't meditate or pray all day. Too often, the moments pile up and then seem to crumble.


So, how can I make this Omer period last? One of its advantages right now is that being in the thick of it, gives me the benefit of a long stretch of time.


I think before the whole Covid thing I did not face this. I am convinced, that this is the type of Covid I've contracted. The one where there are no symptoms, but the clear sense of time has been unmistakably warped. Yup, that's the one I have. It's not contagious, but perhaps might affect others. Who knows?


Do you experience this also?


If so, let's jump into the Omer. Let's halt time and continuously live in the moments of each day.